If only I had the words back in the day to describe why ‘Show Me The Meaning…’ by the Backstreet Boys felt different. The video, the vibe, the lyrics — all foreshadowed a feeling that felt vague and distant then, but would come to occupy so much of my time later in life: existential unease.
Now, armed with a few more words acquired over a couple of decades, allow me to try to analyze some of the existential themes that lurk under the surface of this iconic song.
Please note that if much of this sounds like bit of a reach, that’s because it is. But at the very least, I hope this helps re/acquaint you, dear reader, with some key existential ideas, works and thinkers. Here we go.
“Life goes on as it never ends”
This sentiment echoes Nietzsche’s idea of the eternal return — a thought experiment where all events in life recur in an identical way over and over again, for all eternity. Nietzsche uses this thought experiment to present us with an existential challenge: are we willing to live in such a way that we would welcome the chance to eternally return to our lives? Or would we see this as a curse.
Someone who feels alienated from life would perceive this as the ultimate curse. A never-ending drag. Faced with the intense grief of loss, this is where the protagonist’s head is at in this verse.
“Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say, forever gaze, if only”
The protagonist’s loss has caused not just heart-break, but a sudden realization that the world itself feels inauthentic. Popular trends begin to feel vapid and empty. Like he’s been living in a cursed reality forever, but has now suddenly gained the clarity to see into its hollow core.
Was there ever anything more than a bottomless abyss where meaning was supposed to be? With this thought, the protagonist’s cynical gaze turns inward and apprehends his own hollowness for the first time.
Guilty roads to an endless love
There's no control, are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
Haunted by the guilt that he’s unwittingly served the void for so long, the protagonist turns to God i.e. endless love. In his suffering, he gives up on the idea that he has any control over how the course of his life unfolds.
Like Job, he cries out to God in his misery demanding to know if He has abandoned him, but hears only silence in return. In the silence, he decides to make what Kierkegaard would call a qualitative leap or, as it is more commonly known, a leap of faith.
He submits to a higher power even though he is unsure of its existence.
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with?
Here we have, in the iconic chorus verse, a plot twist:
Instead of meeting the God he imagined he would find, the protagonist meets his own Higher Self. Yet, he is stranger unto himself and demands — with great entitlement — to know the purpose of the dark night of his soul.
Then it dawns on him: his attempts to think, rationalize and argue his way to existential meaning are futile. Instead, he must ‘walk’ with the feeling of emptiness and live through it with patience. He must engage with the reality of his circumstances with courage.
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart
Initially, he resists this existential responsibility as an unbearable burden. He cannot understand why pure self-awareness doesn’t miraculously solve his situation. Why must the onus to heal his wounds be on him, a lesser being, and not on his already-healed Higher Self? He wants nothing more than to be reunited with his estranged Higher Self without having to feel empty for a second longer.
But then he realizes a transcendent truth: His wound and the void are one.
There is nothing fundamentally empty about existence. On the contrary, there was something missing in his own heart all along: ego-transcending love.
He is now ready to surrender his “heart, body and soul” to cherishing the transcendent beauty of love that doesn’t diminish with grief. It is a love so powerful that it enlarges the spirit to encompass even the awful pain of loss with grace.
…
So, here we are, feeling extra grateful for the Backstreet Boys and the profound beauty hidden in turn-of-the-millenium pop music. Oh, and do check out that music video, it really holds up after all these years.
That’s it. Please do consider sharing this Substack on to one more person who may appreciate it. Hope you have a wonderful week ahead!
Love,
Yepi
time to give an existential crisis to my neighbours (I'm going to blast this song on my speakers at full volume)